It’s one of my core-desired feelings, a la Danielle LaPorte.
As far back as I can remember, I got a kick out of shucking authority and doing what I wanted.
In kindergarten, I would get lost on the outskirts of the playground during recess, in hopes my teacher would never find me. (This experiment was, of course, always very short-lived.)
In 6th grade, I got my own AOL account, created the name ‘Jezabell6’ and picked “freedom” as my password.
In 10th grade, I ran away from home.
In college, I chose the uncertain path of the artiste, majored in Acting and ignored the four-year-long plea from my parents to change majors.
Post-graduation, I began bartending, much to my parent’s denial. I was living at home again, and I ran away for the second time.
I went on to fall in love with Broke Boys disguised as distinguished men. They were artistes too, I was their Muse and we theoretically, rather poetically, ran away together.
In the last decade or so, it’s safe to say, I’ve figured a few things out.
I realized my parents are my greatest allies and there’s no longer a need to run from my conflicts with them. I traded in the grind of daily auditions and nightly cocktail slinging to launch a couple of pretty successful businesses. I realized the Broke Boys were just as lost as I was and upgraded my romantic pursuits towards actual, legitimate Distinguished Men. (I even married one.) Oh, and I also upgraded to a Gmail account.
The thing is, though, I still like to get lost on the playground…
Only now, my current version of getting lost looks like Daybreak’ing, traveling the world with my best friend, staying up past midnight to catch a DJ show and walking around my apartment naked while listening to Robyn remixes.
In my evolution towards this new definition of Freedom, I have learned that a rebel heart really never dies. (At least mine hasn’t.) It’s taken me adopting a few key principles to keep my feet firmly planted on the ground, while never abandoning this primal free-spirit. And since I’m feeling a little fearless today (per usual), I thought I would share these principles with you.
You see, true Freedom is a mindset, not an act. You don’t need to jet set on an airplane, defy your parents or quit your job to feel free.
Freedom comes from letting go of self-imposed expectations of who you think “you’re supposed to be.”
Freedom comes from letting go of what others think of you.
Freedom comes from nurturing your body so well that you’re able to make consistently clear and positive physical, mental and emotional decisions.
Freedom helped me leave my last business and start a new one.
Freedom allowed me to identify the Broke Guys from the Distinguished Men.
Freedom gives me the permission to write these blogs.
Freedom gives me the permission to Simply Be every damn day.
Freedom is not reckless abandon.
Freedom is actually in total control.
Let’s break this down…
It first boils down to acceptance: We must accept first ourselves for the ebbs and flows. The rises and falls. In our energy levels, interests and desires. Some days, I like waking up at 7am to meditate and work on my Kundalini breathing, followed by Pilates, a visit to my energy healer and then tea and kale salads with my most enlightened soul-sister where we talk about our past life regressions. Other days, I sleep until 10 and watch a Law & Order marathon all day until it’s time for an early carry out dinner from Carson’s Ribs. Some days I have the energy and inspiration to create a new product, revamp my site and change the world. Other days, I feel completely lost and talentless. The point is: you ebb. You flow. It’s always evolving, it’s always changing. For that alone, I have been able to accept me for me on any given day. The question is: do you accept you? There’s pure Freedom in our pure acceptance of ourselves.
The next is non-judgment: (Oooh, this is a big one.) A few months ago, I was mid-bitch fest to a dear client of mine turned dearer friend. I was griping about all the travel I was embarking on, and how it was going to take me away from my husband and how guilty I felt for being so absent from my marriage. She looked at me and said: “Society projects onto us an image of what we think marriage should look like. But the truth is: your marriage can look like however you want it to look. That’s because it’s yours.” When I returned from that trip, I can’t tell you how many people, (most who only know me on Facebook), asked me “How’s all that travel been on your marriage?” #Sorrynotsorry, but that’s none of your business. Furthermore, every one of us has the power and more importantly, the Freedom, to design our lives to look and feel however we want it to look, as long as it feels good to us and doesn’t harm others. I don’t judge my life, my choices, my marriage or my ebbs and flows, I don’t judge yours, and I hope with all my heart you don’t judge your own. Or anyone else’s for that matter. Life is too short and other people are none of your business. There is sooooooooo much Freedom found in the not caring.
Nurture: This one might come as a surprise, but I have found the more I nourish and care for my mind, body and soul, the Freer I feel. Think back to a time when you’ve “trashed” these areas, whether it would be with unhealthy food, a few too many cocktails, burning the candles at both ends or allowing toxic people into your immediate orb. I bet you felt pretty unsteady during that time, right? Eating well, solid sleep and moving your body on a regular basis provides you with clarity, and clarity provides you with graceful control, and this kind of control leads to Freedom. You’re probably thinking to yourself how difficult it can be to find balance. Well let me tell ya somethin’ sister – balance is a fallacy. There is no such thing. Balance would mean perfection and therefore, it doesn’t exist. All I’m suggesting is incorporating things in your life that bring you a sense of calm. Maybe it’s’s a fresh-pressed green juice. Or a walk through the park. A bit of meditation. Whatever feels good to you. Continue to, and always nurture your body. Build your foundation. Nourish your temple. Worship your temple. Let Freedom become its most sacred virtue.
Have you ever struggled with taming your wild heart? What loving practices have you put in place to maintain your Freedom? Leave a comment below. I would love to hear from you.
To your beautiful rebellion,