Self Love

My Kind of Goal Setting…and guess what…it’s really, REALLY emotional

January 5, 2016

In years past, I have taken the traditional route of coming up with my New Year’s Resolutions.

This is how resolution-making usually looked:

  1. Lose 10 pounds.
  2. Save 10% of my income.
  3. Focus more on the positive.
  4. Make six figures.
  5. Actually, make seven.
  6. Find the love of my life.
  7. Volunteer.

At the beginning of the year, this is how the resolution-chasing would usually go:

  1. I would hit the gym six days a week.
  2. I would start to sorta’ kinda’ save my money but not really.
  3. I would journal and scribble airy affirmations.
  4. I would vision board and pin-up magazine clips of the car I wanted to buy, the condo I wished I could afford, the ring I would one day adorn.
  5. I would juice cleanse.
  6. I would clean out my closet.
  7. I would Google the boards of charities I would maybe someday join.

Then around, say, March, it began to look like this:

  1. Fizz.
  2. Fizzle
  3. Fade.
  4. Fadin’.
  5. Faded.
  6. Fuck me.
  7. Fuck you.
  8. Fuck this.
  9. Bye.

Then, in 2013, something totally revolutionary, life-altering and game-changing happened.

I read the book The Desire Map, by Danielle LaPorte.

In it, she explains that when it comes to goal setting, we are never chasing the goal itself – we are chasing how we believe the goal will make us feel. And those feelings are derived from our deepest and most potent driving force: desire.  And when we get clear on what she calls our “Core Desired Feelings,” and consciously allow desire to become the commander in chief of our lives, magic shows up. And this isn’t to say that you suddenly achieve your “goals” or “new year’s resolutions” because you simply got clear on your feelings, but because you begin to activate, invoke and therefore live those feelings on a daily, micro-level. You then become a magnet for that which you desire. And all of a sudden…

Big life shifts occur.

Dreams come true.

Shit. Starts. Happening.

This might sound too good to be true to you. I decided to try it. And in 2014, I came up with the following Core Desired Feelings:

  •  Joy
  • Creative
  • Inspired
  • Abundant
  • Free

Well, 2014 happened to be the year I left CheekyChicago to launch my own independent company, got engaged to the greatest man I ever met and started making more money than I had ever made in my life.

At the beginning of 2015, I got distracted with, well, my wedding. (Actually, I had three.) And to be honest, I half-assed my Desire Mapping. In hindsight, Desire Mapping one year and then not the next made a difference. Don’t get me wrong – 2015 was an incredible, insanely, ridiculously wonderful year. I just spent a lot of it in a reactive state, not a proactive one.

So over this past holiday break, I got down to business and busted out Ms. LaPorte once more. I forgot to mention that the subliminal message of the Desire Map (AKA: the whole fucking point) is simply…to feel good.

And who doesn’t want that?

So, here are my Core Desired Feelings for 2016:

  • Radiant
  • Bliss
  • Badass
  • Nourished
  • Connection

And because I’m feeling EXTRA vulnerable today, here are a few goals-with-soul I have associated with them:

Radiant: Stop dimming my shine to make others feel comfortable or safe. I have a right to sparkle as much as the next chick and so – I’m gonna shine on. Also, wear sequins and bright red lipstick more often. Radiance on the regular = check.

Badass: Bring out my inner rebel. Walk into meetings, auditions and on stages with more confidence. (Because my insecurities rule my psyche WAY too much and I’m over it.) Oh, and take more SOUL Cycle classes with Jaclyn Mitgang, who is the epitome of a badass and makes me feel like one too, simply by being in her presence.

Nourished: Book a trip to Bali with my best friend. Because very few things nourish me the way traveling with Megan Taylor does. And Bali is, well, Bali. In the meantime, I’ll continue drinking my green juices, listening to Adele on blast and laughing with my mom. Nourish, nourish annnnnnnd nourish.

Bliss: Not so fun fact about me: I struggle with a ton of anxiety. I have been meditating on my own for the last three years to address it, and to be honest, I pretty much suck at meditation. This year, I am beginning Transcendental Meditation. TM is a form of meditation that requires serious training, a monetary investment and a twice-a-day commitment. Bring on the bliss, bitches. (That was my badass talking. #Hi.)

And my last one and probably my biggest…

As some of you might know, I traveled around the world a couple times this year. Like, literally. Like, I traveled over 100,000 miles in less than a year’s time. Like, that’s fucking nuts. And while it has been a blessing on so many levels, it has also left me with a deep sense of disconnect from my husband, my family, my friends, my hometown and the life that I have worked so hard to build. Hence, I desire to feel connection. And in order to achieve it, I am creating more time and space to devote to friends, new and old, and the family that I adore.

Simple, daily acts.

Or as Danielle LaPorte says: “How you plan your day… is how you live your life.”

So, how do YOU want to feel? I would love to know.

With over-emotional feelings and mad, fierce, pulsating desire,




This blog was part of the GLOW SCHOOL BLOG TOUR: a line up of 20 incredible babes sharing tips on how to keep your glow glowing on! Take a peek at the full list of Glow School Bloggers, and tomorrow, meet my fellow glow-girl, soul sister, dear friend and angel-on-Earth, Tiffany Louise. Tiffany is a life coach and therapist who knows a thing or two about shining from the inside out. Trust me, you don’t want to miss it.

Lastly, you HAVE to check out my girl, Dana’s (creator of Glow School) 10 Day Glowing Adventure starting Feb 1st! find out more here.


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  • Molly Collier

    Loved this post– Totally hit home! Your vulnerability, energy, & desire to grow are truly inspiring <3